A Little Creativity & Joy: Honey Apricot Chicken, Snowman Pillows & Inspiration

Dear friends,

I am not a Suzy Homemaker sort of mom.  I am somewhat artistic, but don't have the time or patience for complicated crafts or gourmet cooking.  But once in a while I dabble!  Maybe the fact that it's Christmas time got my creative juices going.

I ordered apricot chicken at Olive Garden last weekend and figured I could make it at home. I fileted 6 huge boneless skinless chicken breasts into smaller pieces, dipped them in flour, and sauteed them in a little oil. When they were somewhat browned, I cooked them some more in a mixture of 18 oz apricot preserves, 2 TBS honey, 2 TBS balsamic vinegar and a little bit of water (maybe 1/4 cup?). I added some cooked baby carrots to coat with the sauce too, and them served over rice.  Everyone loved it (a rare feat!), so I'm planning to make it as one of the main entrees for Christmas dinner.

I also finally got around to making Christmas pillows with two of my kids.  I had four existing throw pillows with autumn leaves so I just sewed new covers. I bought the snowman and penguin fabric (with small squares) a while ago at Walmart and discovered yesterday I didn't have enough for the last pillow.  After Naomi (9) and Micah (11) and I sewed the first three, I went back to Walmart to find more fabric, but they were out of it. However, they did have a coordinating print with larger panels.  Though the panel pattern was too small for the pillow, I managed to piece the pillow together using parts of both fabrics. I will take the covers off when it is time to use them for another season. Maybe I'll make spring covers, too. Since we finished the pillows, the kids have been using the scraps to make little pouches.  I made a hair scrunchy for Melody, too.  (I also had four larger throw pillows that matched my couch, but the batting was all lumpy after years of use.  Several weeks ago, I bought four identical new pillows at Goodwill for $1.99 each, inserted them into the old covers, and sewed them up.  They look so much fresher!)
  

This brings up the question: What can we use that we already have like this?  I bought a message center at a yard sale a while back and had it stashed in my closet.  I found it while looking for something else and decided to hang it up in the dining room.  I may find some sort of Christmas decoration to adorn it for the next few weeks.  But for now, I just decided to write on it!   Pastor Dave Abney at Lake Baldwin Church had just preached an excellent Advent sermon on Mary and the Magnificat, so I jotted down the three main points for us to remember how she lived with joy while facing the unique challenge of an unplanned (but quite divine) pregnancy. 

I love the concept of living in the larger story, of playing our own significant part in the Grand Plan.  I have thought a lot about that in recent years, and I'm writing an article called "In the Middle of the Story" which I hope will be done next month.  In the meantime, you might like to read my related poem, "Between the Seed and the Tree" which is, coincidentally, also based on a sermon by Dave Abney.  After I wrote it, my friend Gary Thomas suggested that I break up the lines to make the reader pause and reflect.  Creativity can benefit from critique by friends!

I also gain a lot of creative inspiration from other bloggers, even if they do make me envious of how gifted they are not only in their writing, but in how they live in the larger story: in the beauty they create and in the compassion and nurture they extend in their own homes and around the world.  A few of my recent favorite posts:   

• What Children Really Want for Christmas by ThatMom (Karen Campbell)
• How to Wait for Christmas by Ann Voskamp of Holy Experience
• Come for a Visit and Beautiful Feet and a Plea for Help from Contented Sparrow (Megan)
• The House is Now "Christmas-fied" by Sally Clarkson 
• Photography: Watch my Red Amaryllis Bloom by Mrs. T. (Tonya)

Be blessed!

Virginia Knowles
http://www.virginiaknowles.blogspot.com/

Beating the Holiday Blues and Stress

Angel Watching Over the Christmas Village

Beating the Holiday Blues and Stress


Dear friends,

It's that jolly time of year again when many good people are down and blue -- and feeling extra guilty that they can't get into the swing of the holiday cheer like everyone else. How many smiles that we see are really masking depression and stress?


When it seems the odds are stacked against enjoying a merry Christmas season, there are some things we can do to ease our troubles. I know most of these are common sense, but I find myself needing a reminder too, so I'm really just talking to myself! (Yes, I've spent some time in tears this month already, getting frazzled and discouraged!)

Stop and think. Try to pinpoint what is bothering you most. 
Now, what two or three small things can you do to alleviate this frustration? Ask God for wisdom. He sometimes speaks in a very still and quiet voice in your heart, so listen up!

Overwhelmed or depressed?  Ask for help and prayer. Don't isolate yourself. Call a trusted friend or family member and be honest about your struggles.  If they can't help, try someone else.  If you can't seem to shake the blues, you might want to meet with a professional counselor or pastor to help you.  Also consider hormonal issues like thyroid function (is it time for a medical checkup?) or even just PMS, which unfortunately doesn't take a vacation in December.   Be gentle with yourself! 

Lonely? You might feel disappointed that no one has called you to get together. They just might be waiting for someone else to do the same for them! You be the one to start. You just might make their day -- or their month! Get together for coffee or whatever other cozy treat lifts your spirits. I'm a hot chocolate with whipped cream lady, and its easy enough to make at home. See here: Hot Chocolate for a Crowd.  If you want to avoid the busy Starbucks but still get out of the house with a friend, take a thermos of your favorite hot drink and a container of goodies to a park on a sunny afternoon.  And if you don't have a babysitter to watch your kids, take them along and let them loose on the playground while you chat.  Not perfect, but probably better than nothing!

Financial worries?  Communicate with your family members about your budget. This is a major source of family stress during the holidays. Don't forget to specify amounts for gift giving within your household, gifts to relatives and friends (if you do this), decorations, hospitality, activities, baking, crafts, extra food on Christmas day. Stick to it as closely as you can, and rework the plan if necessary. This could be the year for cutting back on holiday spending. One thing that helps in our house is that our kids don't buy gifts for all of their other siblings. They pick a name and pick one decent gift. Less money. Less clutter. Less time spent shopping. It works! To save time, you can also shop on-line. Check out my other tips here: Christmas Gift Tips from Shopping to Shipping. diet. 

Exhausted or sluggish? Get your sleep! Don't try to burn the midnight oil getting everything done. An afternoon nap can work wonders. One of my favorite strategies is to lie down for a little bit after the dinner rush to get my second wind for a few things I can do after the kids go to bed, like doing an small organizing project or reading quietly. Later in the month, this might be wrapping presents! (But don't use that as an excuse for staying up too late!)   Also, watch your diet.  Too much sugar, caffeine and/or alcohol can do a number on your energy level, even if it gives you a momentary boost. Stock the house with healthy snacks. Find nutritious alternatives to holiday favorites or substitute whole grains and reduced fat ingredients. Bring a festive green and red fruit or veggie tray to a potluck meal.


Out of focus about "the reason for the season"?  Work a simple Advent remembrance into your daily schedule. For us, this is singing carols, doing a Scripture reading from a weekly list in our church bulletin, and reading our favorite Christmas books. We do this each weekday morning in December in place of regular school, which keeps them more "on track and out of trouble" so they aren't too much at loose ends. Routine is good. Remembering the joy of Jesus is even better.  You can also put some favorite inspirational Christmas music on. If you don't feel like listening to bouncy stuff right now, find something contemplative and relaxing, like quiet instrumentals. Or, if you don't feel like Christmas music at all, just put on any music you really like. Be aware of what music helps to lift you moods and helps you remember God.   Jesus is still the reason for the season, so settle your soul and drink of his grace.  Read: An Invitation to Stillness.

Kids going wild? Taking time off school for the holidays is a break for all of us, but if the schedule is too loose, they sometimes get rowdy or start acting up out of boredom or lack of motherly attention.  In addition to the Advent activities I described in the previous paragraph, you can easily find ways to keep your children busy with a variety of activities, such as making presents or cards, going to the playground, inviting a young friend to visit, writing out Christmas dinner menus or invitations, reading for pleasure, making up skits, watching Christmas videos, working on household organization projects with you, cleaning out old toys in their closets to give away, etc. More ideas here: Advent Adventure Unit Study and Great Gifts Kids Can Make for Others.  You can also have a friendly discussion with them if they are really driving you nuts.  Sometimes they just need a quiet reminder.  (OK, so that doesn't always work, but it's worth a try!)  I wrote an Advent poem last year for this blog, and in the commentary, I talk some about handling frustrations with children.  You can find it here: Grace Will Lead Me Home. 
 
Too busy? Adjust your expectations of what you need to do. Write out your "to do" list for the month, then break it down week by week or day by day so it's manageable. You have the right to say "no" if something doesn't fit your priorities and abilities right now. If you can't cut something out of your schedule, can you minimize its impact by simplifying it or asking for help? Big tasks are more fun when we do them together! If a friend helps you with a project, maybe you can help her with one, too!   Just remember the scheduling rule: Simplify Your Christmas!

Bored?  Try something new, such as a carol, craft, or holiday recipe. Start a new tradition. Buy a new Christmas book each year. Find a new holiday outing to enjoy, such as a free concert or living nativity at a church.  Go for a drive with the family and look at holiday lights. Try to remember the best neighborhoods from year to year. Bring your camera! This is one of our favorite family traditions that we never miss.

Spazzed about decorating? Don't feel like you have to decorate everything at once, and don't be compelled to put out every single decoration you own if you don't like them (Read the Nester's blog about this topic: Master of Your Domain)  Little by little. Group like items that go together visually. Put fragile or valuable items out of reach of curious little ones or rowdy older ones. (We've already broken two glass ornaments this year, but at least they weren't heirlooms. I did cut myself on one, though!)

Too many messes? Try to keep your house in order -- not perfect but reasonable. It's hard to enjoy holiday decorations if other clutter distracts the eye. Review "a place for everything" and give your kids some basic training in tidy time. Set the timer and see how much you can get done in 15 minutes. Or have everyone go into the messiest room and put away 10 things each. If you are taking off time from regular school work, use some of it for homemaking instruction. Make sure that baking cookies is part of your home ec class, too! Too blue to clean house? You can do it! My sister-in-law sent this link: 6 Ways to Clean House When You're Depressed

Discontented? Ask yourself whether or not you are focusing too much on your own desires and expectations for the season. Christmas is not about getting, whether it is gifts or invitations or other forms of attention. I find the best way to shake holiday me-ism is too look for ways to serve others. This might take the form of a care package for someone in need or someone who is just plain lonely. It might mean a phone call or a handwritten note. It might mean a family service project. It might be inviting someone for Christmas dinner, perhaps a friend or new acquaintance who has no family in the area, or an international student who is far from home. (This is a joy! It is no sacrifice when you catch the spirit of it. It helps kids practice hospitality, too!) It might just be noticing the subtle pain in a friend's eyes or voice and asking how they are doing. (That means really listening, too, and actually following through if there is something you can do about it.) The picture book An Alcott Family Christmas by Alexandra Wallner, recounts how Louisa May Alcott's family once gave away their own Christmas goose feast (which they had scrimped and labored for) to a poor, and then made themselves another dinner of bread, potatoes, and apples. J-O-Y! Jesus, Others, Yourself.

At odds about holiday plans? People have different ideas about what makes a merry Christmas season, whether it is about how much time to spend on activities, whether to travel to see relatives, how you decorate, how to allocate Christmas money, and what kinds of food to eat.  We need to be prepared to cooperate and make reasonable accommodations without totally neglecting our way of doing things.  You may also wish to evaluate what kinds of demands -- spoken or implied -- that you are placing on others or that they are placing on you.  Talk about them and work it out!  While we should value togetherness, we don't have to do everything with the whole family.  You could plan activities with your children or friends that your husband might not prefer to do.  If you have adult children who have families or friendships of their own, be careful about setting expectations on them for joining family activities.  Our policy is, we are delighted if they can make it home for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, but if not, we aren't offended. We'll catch them some other time.  This year we had Thanksgiving dinner a day late because my husband and I were out of town celebrating our 25th anniversary.  I imagine that in future years, we might just plan on a regular Friday Thanksgiving meal so that we don't run competition with our kids' in-laws. After all, we have 10 kids and could disrupt an awful lot of other family plans if we insisted on everyone being with us on the exact day!  Last year, my daughter and son-in-law went to Puerto Rico with friends for Christmas, so we had our big family meal a few days ahead of time.  It really doesn't matter to me which day!  Flexibility is a huge buffer against stress and conflict.

In conflict? People will let you down and fail to meet your needs, but you can't base your life and moods on that. As much as possible, cut them some slack, have a heart to heart chat, let it go, move on. When you get frustrated about something stupid that happened, try to laugh instead of yelling. We all need a lot of grace, and an outburst is only going to make it worse.  Read: Stop, Drop and Roll (How to Deal with a Conflict!)   If you have on-going conflicts, try to resolve them as peacefully as possible. This does require some humility, but don't get sucked in to false guilt other. You may need confidence to gently confront, too. Read: Handling Family Issues and Visits During the Holidays.


Grieving? Find a way to commemorate a deceased loved one, such as giving a charitable gift to an organization he or she would have appreciated, or participating in a favorite activity you did together, or looking at photo albums or family videos.  Don't try to bury your grief.  You are allowed to cry.  More here:  A Bittersweet Advent.  

Frazzled?  Make ample time for quiet reflection, especially when you are feeling stressed. Get out a journal and start writing whatever comes to mind. You do not have to organize this or worry about grammar. Just let it flow! Scribble pictures if that helps. Many of your buried thoughts just might bubble up to the surface to you can understand yourself better. Read here: The Dance of Hope and a Note on Journaling.      Savor the little moments, the small joys. Count your blessings and see how they add up! Start a gratitude list, like my friend Debbie's: A Fragrant Aroma: 100 Joys – Week 1

Finally, let me leave you with a Christmas carol that you may have never heard before.  It's one we've been singing at church and at home this month, and it speaks directly to those who are discouraged with life.  You can listen to it  here to learn the tune: Lake Baldwin Church Advent Music. 

"Arise the Kingdom is at Hand"
Johann Rist, 1651 in German
Translated into English by Catherine Winkworth in 1858

Arise, the kingdom is at hand,

The King is drawing nigh;
Arise with joy, thou faithful band,
To meet the Lord most high!
Look up, ye souls, weighed down with care,
The Sovereign is not far;
Look up, faint hearts, from your despair,
Behold the Morning Star!

Look up, ye drooping hearts, today,
The King is very near;
O cast your griefs and fears away,
For, lo, your help is here!
Hope on, ye broken hearts, at last
The King comes in His might;
He loved us in the ages past
When we lay wrapped in night.

Look up, ye souls weighed down with care,
The Sovereign is not far!
Look up, faint hearts, from your despair,
Behold the Morning Star!
The Lord is with us now, who shall
The sinking spirit feed
With strength and comfort at its need
To Whom e’en death shall bow.

Hope, O ye broken hearts, at last!
The King comes on in might,
He loved us in the ages past
When we sat wrapped in night;
Now are our sorrows o’er, and fear
And wrath to joy give place,
Since God hath made us in His grace
His children evermore.

O rich the gifts Thou bringest us,
Thyself made poor and weak;
O love beyond compare that thus
Can foes and sinners seek!
For this we raise a gladsome voice
On high to Thee alone,
And evermore with thanks rejoice
Before Thy glorious throne.

Drop me a line if you need to talk!

Joy and peace to you and yours,
Virginia Knowles
http://www.virginiaknowles.blogspot.com/
Merry Christmas, friends!

Jacob's First Chanukkah

Dear friends,

This post is by my oldest daughter, Mary. 

First Chanukkah

by Mary 

Two blue candles stand stoically in the menorah, like guards of the night--the Shamash (servant) candle in the middle, and the one on the far right end. (We won't laugh too hard thinking of how Daddy almost lit the carpet on fire with a wayward match.) You gaze at their flickering flames, transfixed by their warm glow.

You are five months old, ensconced in warm fleece pajamas embroidered with a tractor and pine trees. You are wearing one fuzzy striped sock--the other you must have pulled off in your sleep.

Freshly home from work, Daddy reads the first blessing from his Siddur in a low voice.  

Barukh Atta Adonay Eloheynu Melekh Ha-olam Asher Kiddeshanu Be-mitsvotav Ve-tsivanu Lehadlik Ner Shel khanuka

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us by His commandments, and has commanded us to kindle the lights of Hanukkah.

Beginning to stir from the deep calm you slipped into while nursing moments ago, you start to tug on the remaining sock.

Barukh Atta Adonay Eloheynu Melekh Ha-olam She-asa Nissim La-avoteynu Ba-yyamim Ha-hem Ba-zzman Ha-zze

Blessed are you, Lord our God, King of the universe, who wrought miracles for our fathers in days of old, at this season.

A cool breeze enters through the kitchen door. Your round cheeks appear like a sculpture in the light. Your eyes move ever so slightly up and down to survey the scene. You are taking it all in.  

Barukh Atta Adonay Eloheynu Melekh Ha-olam She-hekheyanu Ve-kiymanu Ve-higgi'anu La-zzman Ha-zze

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has kept us alive, and has preserved us, and enabled us to reach this time.

Daddy and I have lived another year, moved to another home, celebrated another year of marriage. And this year, you are with us. Next year you will be walking, talking, calling me Mama. This year, you sit cuddled in my lap, turning into my chest for security. I squeeze you tightly.

Far past midnight, the moments dwindle. It is late and early. It is the beginning of many years to come. You will learn about the brave men and women who fought for the right to worship the Father and witnessed the miracle at the temple re-dedication. But for now, we soak up the warmth of the candles, basking in their glow.

Chag Chanukkah Sameach. Happy Chanukkah, Jacob.

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

Invitation to Stillness

Invitation to Stillness

Advent Poem 2010

by Virginia Knowles

Quiet your soul to ponder, wonder, and worship the Amazing One.

In these still and focused moments, embrace his everlasting love for you.
Savor his sacrifice: Heaven to Earth, an infinite journey of grace
When he came to rescue, release, and renew you.

In sacred response, draw near with a whole heart, a deepening communion.
Be still in his presence, be filled with his presence

Father, Son, Holy Spirit: God with us.

Day after day, time with him is your most precious treasure.

Be the fruitful branch abiding in the Vine.

Be the little lamb in the Good Shepherd’s tender care.

Be the beautiful Beloved in the Lover’s embrace.

Ask, and he will surely show you how.

I have a hard time just sitting quietly to pray or read the Bible, meditating on God's goodness and listening to what he is trying to tell me. Part of this is because I'm a busy mother of 10, but I can't use this as an excuse. I think sometimes I just avoid it. Maybe I just don't want to face myself in the light of his face because I'm too proud to humble myself and admit I've done wrong. Maybe I don't trust him and I'm afraid of what he'll tell me to do or that he will reject me. Maybe I have forgotten how very good and kind he is, that his plans for me are so much better than any that I could concoct. Whatever the reason, there is always a way back to his open arms. If he came this far to save us, don't you think he'll go to the same great efforts to draw us back when we've wandered? And when I do sit still to wonder and worship, I wonder why I waited so long! Do you need help learning how to quiet down and listen to God? Read here: Busy, Dizzy & In a Tizzy?

I wrote this new poem last night, so imagine my delight to find that this prayer by Henri Nouwen was part of a responsive reading at Lake Baldwin Church this morning for the start of Advent:

Master of both the light and the darkness, send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas. We who have so much to do seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day. We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us. We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom. We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence. We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light. To you we say, "Come Lord Jesus!" Amen

Blessings,
Virginia Knowles
http://www.virginiaknowles.blogspot.com/

Between the Seed and the Tree

Between the Seed and the Tree

by Virginia Knowles

A seed so small
A mere breath might scatter it

Never to be seen again
Lost on a barren path

Yet by some miracle planted with purpose

Dry shell softens
Releasing a pale root into welcoming soil
Down growth
Up growth
Green stem
Leaves

What will it be?
A tree?
From this tiny seed?

The seedling grows
Straight up
Skyward bound
Up and up
Empowered by life within

A tree to be, and already a tree

Defying doubt
This slender sapling
Shall someday become a solid trunk
With lush canopy of branches and leaves

A fruitful, sheltering garden blessing.

Though lost and fragile
Once found by Love
We took root and grew

Now between the grace and the glory
Still in the middle of the story

By faith
With hope
Skyward bound

Springing forth from the first promise toward the full reality

Our destiny unfurls in slow motion

Between the seed and the tree.

 

Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.” Matthew 13:31-32

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:16-20


"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

~*~*~

The title and concept for this poem came to me as I listened to Dave Abney, a pastor at Lake Baldwin Church, talk about the parable of the mustard seed in his October 3 sermon.  He reminded us of the apparent tension between what God has ultimately promised for the future and what we experience right now in our lives.  It all starts so small and we grow into it, sort of like how Jesus seemed to have such a quiet, localized personal ministry, but it has grown to be a huge force all over the world.  Someday, we shall see the fullness and magnificence of his Kingdom with the eternal glory of Heaven.  Nothing we know on earth can even begin to compare to that!  We just trust that it's coming, and that gives us hope for the here and now.  The gospel of Jesus is simple, enduring, and beautiful.   We are like seeds planted to become strong trees, his life within ours.  We long to be like Jesus : loving, bold, servant-hearted, free, and yet sometimes the progress seems so slow.   I've often thought of this as living "between the now and the not yet."  But we are comforted to know that he is still at work in us, and his love is not dependent on our progress but on his grace.

 

"Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." 1 John 3:2

Back to the poem a moment: When I was working on the early drafts of this poem, I sent a raw version to several friends who are all fellow writers/teachers in various venues, asking for their comments.    Dan Christensen and Cheryl Bastian helped me prune the words and adjust the flow in the middle of the "critique and tweak" phase. 

Dan's advice: "Here's an exercise: Go through the poem. Set aside form, rhythm and rhyme. Take out any word or phrase that isn't missed if it's gone. These often include our favorite gems--in everyone's writing! Being brutal pays off because you start to see the poem's essence and you get comfortable with making judgments that propel the essence. You save

the reader from having to sort through. Fewer filters means the message is more apt to get through."

(I hope you got the message!) 

Later, my friend Gary Thomas wrote: "It gets even better with the 3rd or 4th reading.  I think it's one that needs to be read slowly, Virginia, so I wonder if you want to work the structure to encourage that--shorter lines, more breaks, slow the reader down.  In a way, that kind of structure would play into the theme of slow growth.  I think you've got the language down marvelously, but on my first reading, I think in part because of the longer lines, I read it too quickly, and that undercut the message.  You've got some really nice language here, so a slower structure would be sort of like (keeping with the season) slowing people down to 15 mph so they can see the Christmas lights on the houses instead of just speeding by."  

Gary suggested some specific line breaks, so what you see above is the new version, revised after the initial blog post.  Another critiquing friend, Doug Vardell, liked an even earlier (but never published on-line) raw version because he felt the choppier rhythm had more emotional impact and offered a slight grammatical change which I have just incorporated.  I'm thinking this new structure may bring some of that back.   In free verse there is no metered rhythm, which can either mean liberty to do it however, or a challenge to figure out what is best without a rule to tell me.   So I want more feedback! What about it, folks? Do you like the stanzas to each have six longer lines, or more but shorter lines?  I can go either way reading it myself, but it helps to know how it speaks to others.  Let me know what you think! 

Here is the first published version of the first stanza...

A seed so small a mere breath might scatter it

Never to be seen again, lost on a barren path
Yet by some miracle, planted with purpose
Dry shell softens, releasing a pale root into welcoming soil
Down growth, up growth, green stem, leaves
What will it be? A tree? From this tiny seed?

Here are the same words in Gary's suggested structure again...  

A seed so small

A mere breath might scatter it
Never to be seen again
Lost on a barren path
Yet by some miracle planted with purpose
Dry shell softens
Releasing a pale root
Into welcoming soil
Down growth
Up growth
Green stem
Leaves
What will it be?
A tree?
From this tiny seed?

So even a poem is a "work in progress" -- sometimes even after I think it is done. Leave any comment you want about the poem below! 

Between the seed and the tree,

Virginia Knowles

http://www.virginiaknowles.blogspot.com/

Truth and Grace in the Stories of Our Lives

Truth and Grace in the Stories of Our Lives
by Virginia Knowles
(Written in April 2007)

“Every happening, great and small
is a parable whereby God speaks to us,
and the art of life is to get the message.”

~Malcolm Muggeridge

I’ve always said that God is in control, that he is Sovereign. Now it’s sinking in a little deeper, a little richer, a little more personally, as he is illuminating a fresh way to renew my mind. If you are like me, you have a Life Story with countless chapters, and more than a few of them swirl up your soul with confusion, fear, guilt, or bitterness.

    “What if?”


          “If only…”


                “Why, God, why?”


Compelling questions, to be sure, but what are the answers? I am learning to reinterpret the experiences of my life by searching out evidences of God’s truth and his grace in each situation, whether past or present. In his Awesome Providence, he has a plan for my life, and that includes the bumps and bruises along with way. So: truth and grace! What do I mean?

Truth: What actually happened (or is currently happening), apart from how I have perceived it? This requires a little objectivity because our feelings can be so deceptive! What details would someone else add to the story? This could either be someone who was involved in the situation, or a mature, trustworthy friend or pastoral counselor. Now, what would the Bible say about what has happened? I have to be careful not to pick out an isolated verse, but instead seek out the “whole counsel of Scripture” as various passages round out the picture. Truth requires acknowledging my own contribution to the problem rather than merely blaming someone else.  In that, there is hope: since the circumstances are not entirely out of my sphere of influence, then I can become a part of the solution, too. Another question: What truth did I learn from (and about) the Lord in this situation, and what does he still wants me to grasp even now?


Grace: How has God poured out his mercy and forgiveness on me during this time, even though I may not have recognized it or appreciated it yet? How has he used a proverbial “brick wall” (a blocked opportunity) to channel my life in a new direction? How has he brought about spiritual growth? How have I learned to lean harder on him, rather than rely on my own self-effort? How has he provided other people to bring encouragement, comfort and truth to me? How can I experience his grace and liberty freshly, even if much time has passed? How can I find a release from my bitterness through forgiving others? How can I overcome evil with good, and respond to an insult with a hearty blessing? How am I to extend this healing balm of grace to others who might be suffering as I have?


If you have been through a troublesome time that still weighs heavily on you, or if you are still rehashing uncomfortable details and feelings, you may have been encouraged just to forget it all and pretend it didn’t happen. That’s a nice thought, but it isn’t always possible or healthy to suppress painful memories. I believe that we can learn to reinterpret our life stories so we can release the bitterness, confusion, guilt, or fear from our minds without necessarily forgetting what happened. Then we can look back on the very same story with joy and gratitude over what God has done for us. This will enable us to move on in life with confidence that he will still be with us, working his quiet wonders! I think the story of Joseph and his spiteful brothers in Genesis illustrates this principle beautifully. No matter what he had suffered as the consequences of his brothers’ jealous hatred, he could say to them, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.” He saw the providence of God in bringing him through slavery and prison to a position of power where he could preserve the lives of entire nations throughout a famine.


Try this little exercise. Pick a chapter from your life story that still bothers you – maybe not a big hairy one this first time, but something manageable. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you as you take time to evaluate it from a fresh perspective of truth and grace. (You can use the Truth and Grace questions above as a launching point.) Write your thoughts down if you can, and don’t rush through it. If you kept a journal during this time (which I highly recommend!) then read through it carefully to glean insight. If you need the perspective of someone else involved, ask for it if you can do so without undue conflict. After you have your thoughts organized in your head or on paper, start summarizing the key points. Now, write out a short “Authorized Version” – the “Grace And Truth Edition” of the story -- that you can quickly recall whenever this memory comes to mind again. I like to use the acronym GATE for “Grace And Truth Edition” because a gate is usually attached to a fence, which is a boundary designed to keep things and people secure. You can go in and out of a fenced area safely by walking through an open gate and staying on the path. Likewise, the Grace And Truth Edition of your story allows you to revisit your past on the Path of Providence, rather than veering off into destructive thorn bush thought patterns again. We must continually discipline our minds toward true and wholesome thinking, even after we know how. This is not a one shot deal, but the spiritual warfare of taking our thoughts captive to Christ Jesus. (See 2 Corinthians 10:5.)


I find these Scriptures helpful when I wonder why God is “dealing” with me in a certain way:

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5


“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things… I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:4-8, 12-13


“For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.” 2 Corinthians 1:8-11


“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18


“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:26-39

~*~*~

I encourage you to meditate on these Scriptures and let them sink deeply into your heart! I think they are the key to understanding what God is doing in our lives through the hard times. You may also wish to read Christian biographies, such as The Hiding Place by Corrie tenBoom, in which she recounts God’s faithfulness during her years at the horrific Nazi concentration camps. She even thanked God for the tormenting fleas, and later found that this is what kept the guards out of their barracks, giving her free reign to minister the Messiah’s grace to the perishing women there. Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God by Noël Piper shares the stories of Lilias Trotter, Sarah Edwards, Gladys Aylward, Esther Ahn Kim, and Helen Roseveare. Each of these women faced trials in life that we could barely even imagine surviving, yet they not only endured but conquered with courage and thanksgiving.

Staying in God’s word, coming before His Throne in continual prayer, worshiping with songs full of sound doctrine, and receiving wise counsel and correction from mature Christians (through reading, church services, personal discussions, etc.) are excellent ways to keep yourself strong in truth and grace. Then, as new situations arise in your daily life, you will be prepared to deal with them rightly from the start, and spare yourself much future heartache and heartbreak. I know how easy it is to be plagued with fear and confusion about what will happen in the days and years to come, whether with my health, children, marriage, home schooling, ministry, finances, and whatever else touches so close to my heart. I want to be able to look forward in faith and confidence. And I can, because “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future!” God is great and God is good! I can trust His truth and grace!

ADD and Me? We'll Manage!

Dear friends,

My sister called me a few weeks ago with the news that she had been diagnosed with ADD  (Attention Deficit Disorder). What's more, my mother immediately replied, "Oh, you mean you didn't know that already? Virginia has it, too!" Oh my. I haven't been officially analyzed on this yet, but the symptoms sure do match up according to this very informative site: ADHD/ADD Adult Symptoms.

Hmmm! So that's what's been going on all these years! Perpetually forgetful. Generally messy. Hard to follow instructions or information that isn't written down. Difficulty with administrative details. Easily bored or distracted. Impatient with interruptions. Tending toward procrastination. Struggling with daily self-discipline. Not even noticing small things that need to be done. No wonder I drive my family nuts sometimes! Yep. That would be me.

No, it's not just laziness, though I'm sure I'm guilty of that sometimes, too. No, I'm not dumb. I graduated from college with honors. I've taught home school classes for years, and developed my own curriculum.  I've written three books and hundreds of blog posts. Like many people with ADD, I can also "hyper focus" for periods of time in an effort to tune out distractions and compensate for my quirky mental wiring. When I started to think about it, I could count dozens of ways (lots of lists -- and more) that I've already compensated for ADD (or the assorted symptoms thereof if I don't have a full blown clinical case of it).

I am amused that one of the most recent helps with this was a very unexpected gift. Even before I heard about the possible ADD, someone who loves me and wanted to bless me gave me an iPod Touch, which I never would have bought for myself since it is out of my price range. It not only has music (which I love!), but web & e-mail (when I'm within wi-fi range), clock alarms, calendar, note pads. My favorite app on it is a wonderful running To Do list that keeps tasks in date and priority order, beeps at me when I need to remember something, and is easy to edit when I don't actually get to something when originally planned. Ah, relief! What a Godsend! (Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!) That has been a huge help to keeping me on track.   I take it with me wherever I go, so I can type something on the touch pad whenever I think of something I shouldn't forget!  (Update in 2021: I now have an iPhone with a camera, which means I can easily take pictures of things I want to remember for later reference. I use a lot of different apps, too. I'm about to graduate with honors from seminary, so you can see don't let ADD hold me back with learning!)

One other thing I did early on is to encourage myself by writing four lists: ways I already compensate for my ADD brain, things I still need to work on, my personal strengths, and my personal weaknesses. I've posted my "compensations" and "strengths" below, such as my creativity and sense of adventure. So I don't regard ADD with a sense of dismay or doom. It's just a difference that we need to work around.

OK, here are the lists of my compensations and strengths.  These aren't "functional lists" but they sure are uplifting ones!  I also have lists for things I need to work on, but I'll just keep those to myself for now!

Existing Compensations for Symptoms of ADD 

• reading things to remember or understand (visual learner, not auditory)
• master grocery list (organized by aisle) on computer to print each week
• chore charts for kids
• To Do list on iPod
• very detailed sermon notes
• write down names of people I meet
• address lists on computer
• e-mails and documents kept on computer for information -- able to do quick search to find what I need without needing to remember exactly where I put it!
• weekly prayer list
• vacation packing lists on computer, plus vacation organizer notebook and car bins
• detailed lesson plans for school -- unit studies plus some structured curriculum keeps things "together"
• journals and notebooks
• bins & bags for school supplies, games and puzzles
• school bins for kids' books, notebook, supplies
• teacher bin ready for morning school time
• labeled storage clothes bins
• bookcases and video shelves organized by topic
• clocks in most rooms of house
• blogs to record memories and thoughts that I might otherwise forget
• photography to help me remember
• dish cupboards have standard places for most items
• seasonal and holiday decorations in bins
• detailed outlines and even scripts for public speaking, though I also ad lib

My God-Given Personality Strengths

• creative, poetic, deep thinking
• love beauty, art, nature
• well-read, with a pretty good memory for what I read
• out-of-the-box thinking
• people say I am gifted at writing and public speaking
• soft heart: able to sympathize and empathize with others
• flexible and spontaneous
• adventurous -- like to break out of ruts
• eclectic interests: learn about a lot of different things and appreciate people who are different from me
• sociable and conversational
• value relationships over tasks
• once I really get going on an organizing task that needs doing, I get a lot of stuff done (if I'm not interrupted too much!)

OK, your turn!  Think about what challenges you face in life!  How do you handle them?  What are your strengths?  How is your personality unique, not necessarily "flawed"?  Get out your paper and pencil now.   Ready, set, go!

Blessings,
Virginia Knowles
www.virginiaknowles.blogspot.com